CNY wasnt one of my favorite season or public holiday. maybe to me now, CNY means work more than meaning of family gathering together sitting at the table for a good meal and bonding or just purely joy of eating the CNY tibits and food. only the collecting of hong bao is fun. the rest of the whole visitation was bored. watch tv, eat, watch tv. it really depends on which house you went to visit.

from the year my family becomes incomplete, i felt CNY have lost its meaning. till a point that i think reunion dinner wasnt necessary anymore. i miss him, so near yet so far.

so many pple in this world focus on what is immediate and what happens now. many of our footsteps dont just stop there bcos is a new yr season. what's more this yr CNY is not going to be the same with exam coming 3 weeks after CNY. what a tough poly life. though that not the toughest thing in life,

I love Christmas more. feels that there is more meaning to Christmas than to CNY.

pure random.....

I kind of fell in love with this song again...
Reminds me of how much God actually Love me....
How many times i had fail God.. how many times i tried to hide away from God... how many times that i cant explain why certain things happen in my life... how many times that i felt im all alone to handle this world that i need to bear...

I know Your Love never fails....

Oh God.....!!!

start of new year and new term.
although sch have just started for 2 weeks, but in 6 weeks time will be exam. kind of crazy. still prefer last semester that we have 3 weeks of break to study. thanks to YOG. if only YOG can happen every year in Singapore.


I'm getting older!!!
of course felt more responsible, accounting for my own action.
not only that, i felt i need more privacy. i need a bigger house, a room to myself, my own wardrobe, my own bathroom, my own little space and little world. who don't love to live in their own world with the freedom of doing anything you want to without being watched. that require a lot of self discipline too, if i have my own room.


i used to always crave to have a new phone, but in the end i didn't buy myself one, cos i know is a want, not a need. i think i seriously need a room to myself. is not a want, is a NEED! and of course, i cant trust anyone with this task other than myself. i really dislike pple keep touching my things and keep asking me what i am doing. which i may get affected easily. I know you care for me, but please give me some space....


But coming back to what i really need in life, wasn't really just a room. does that mean that i become distracted. as my ambitious and burdens gets heavier, who to blame? the yolk that God give me was light. i will never get to where i want to be if i hold on to so much things.


though I'm getting older, but it doesn't stop me. i still cry when i need to. laugh as loud if is very funny. get angry and impatience with certain things. Will still push myself forward. and that just me....
and definitely will still seek God and need Him more than usual...

Labels: living each day to the fullest, WAKE UP, 人生短短几十年

just got my result!
im so happy that i passed that 2 modules that i struggle to be above the water. which i have hardly make it above the water for the past semester.
i really thought im gonna fail that 2 modules. cos one of them, even the MCQs im stuck. there other, the whole section B was gone too. i even break down crying cos i know clearly where i will stand.

God was good! He is really good to me. i was really gonna prepare for the worst, prepare for the supp paper. but He lifted it away.
i really had been too stress in sch, cos all along i noe im not doing well in it. even though my GPA wasnt that gd, but im really grateful! at least no supp paper. and that's enough for me. i wont blame myself further :D


brought my mum for her usual appointment @SGH. the doctor that we have been seeing for about 3 yrs is gonna leave SGH. yup, that means the next follow up appointment will be taken care of by another doctor. im kinda sad. cos that doctor that helped my mum so much through these years is really a nice and caring doctor. he did 2 surgery for my mum. and he really have a very kind & caring look. seeing him is like seeing Santa clause. i should really have ask him where he will be heading to. so that i can hold on to the hope that i will see him again :D too bad i didnt ask.

even though exams are over, i still feel like picking up my notes to study for that 2 modules that i struggle. ya, im crazy.

find it funny?
everybody is laughing over this video. but not me. im seriously too serious. wahaha.

my dead blog, u r so dead... i hardly even hav time to blog. wahaha.

exam are over for the 1st sem. i tried my best. is not dat i didnt even tried. i did all i can. pls dont ask me about my exam. i really dont wanna recall what happened. (is it really dat bad?) yes. i dont wanna think about anything of the exam now. pls dont even mention dat word in front of me. i'll switch off. it is the very last thing in my mind.

so stubborn ya? i will still hav to face it though. is not something dat someone else will help me face. is me, myself and i.

on top of that, i still hav alot more to worry and stress about. life jus gets tougher when u grow older. the reality of this world gets super super real. yea yea. crap crap crap.

Me and my complaints...

我不是好人，也不是个很坚强的人。我很想说.........　我是个没用的人！

TP biotech 真的属于我的吗？我好像就快要死掉了！working and studying is jus killing me....
如果我能专心读书就好。　但是我真的很累。好想放弃。我真的不是读书的料，也没时间去好好的努力读。超失败。几时才能结束啊？　三年啊？！

我真的不是好人。我不会因为我需要做的东西而觉得自己是很好的一个人。反而显现我的弱点。我所不能做的东西。
很失望，超失望的。真的只希望我家人他们可以多一点鼓励我，而不是我每次一回到家就让我XXX...

感谢大姐的夸奖，让我知道我有多么差劲。从此以后，你的事情我不想管了。反正你不喜欢我。也不喜欢我管。你要怎样就怎样吧。
no matter how much i care and concern about this house, in your eyes, im jus being busy body. 只是一个爱管闲事的人。在你眼里的管家婆。不管我说什么，不管我再为这家一把眼泪，一把鼻涕都不会改变多少的。

晚点回家，少点伤痛。反正我回不回家，你会管吗？

Dr Albert Ellis said this:
"no one can ever hurt you by their criticism of you. no matter how vicious or vituperative their criticism, the words they use do not have the power to produce within you the teeniest bit of discomfort. if you are hurt, the problem arises because of the value and meaning you give to the words the person uses. only one person has the power to put you down - you yourself. cruel or unjust criticism hurts because it triggers off in your head idea that are in harmony with the way you see yourself. if you didnt see yourself this way, the criticism would wash over you and fail to affect you."

true? very true.

我觉得人活在这世界最害怕就是怕别人讲，怕别人批评，怕别人是用怎样的眼光看自己。其实，就算别人怎么说，怎么看，只要你自己知道你是怎样的人，坚定你自己的立场，就不会被影响。cos the focus should not be how to be accepted by everyone or how to please everyone. it should not be, cos it's temporal, and even if you win the whole world, you loose yourself, what's the point? criticism will always present. and if we do not know how to handle it, we will found ourselves loosing the real purpose of living.

你就是你，我就是我。love yourself for who you are.

i am super blessed! and i am really very thankful!

thankful that God have always blessed me with so many good friends around me. friends that always wanna bless me, buy me a meal, encourage me, find ways to solve my problems, listen to me and always putting my needs as one of their interest. im just so touch, when someone can even come to me and ask me if they could help me to pay my poly sch fees in this way.

and all that is within me just wanna cry out that God, you are so good!!! so good so good!!!

i have stopped looking for a new job. im not sure is it me that im refusing to change again or i just wonder will i ever find such a gd job that is so flexible in timing, near my hse and high pay? hehex. so, i gonna work 6-5 days per week starting from this week. hopefully, i wont get too bored and sick of work.

Thank God that mummy is feeling better after her first physiotherapy session. im gotta be more discipline to even assist her with her daily shoulder and neck exercises and also bringing her to the fitness corner. 现在就轮到老爸了。i have decided recently that i need to bring him to see his eyes. and i really hope he is willing to go with me. i shld care for him more as he is alr 62 this year. my daddy is so old alr! 我应该更努力一点！and praying hard that i can afford for my dad's medical fees too.

对吗？就是这样！recently something happened, and showed me how real is the fact that life is short and fragile. 人生是如此短暂和虚弱的。我应该好好的利用每一秒钟。yup. one life and it soon be gone, Only what done for Christ will last.


im kinda not looking forward to start of school... 怎么办呢？