One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied: "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Labels: forever God is faithful

most of my week is busy. not excluding this week. i wonder when will i start my blog post with " this week, I'm super duber free."



this week is really a week of faith. cos there are 2 test n o level oral packed within this 7 days. and on top of that, notice board must be up at least with some things by sat. so, one hand i must study for my test, another have to do things for the notice board. n time was really insufficient. really thank God, cos i only work one day this week. or not i will really be walking zombie(that what weijjie said).



o level oral this Monday was really by faith. cos I'm not discipline enough to practise my picture discussion and conversation at home. i need someone to be accountable for to do that. eventually got nandy to hear me say just before we head to school. yes, that practise had just proved that I'm not good in picture discussion. my vocab bank was really zero. but thank God, still manage to make this practise(at least better than never practise). nervousness was to the max when i saw my name first in the name list. one coincident thing is, the teacher in charge is the same teacher as last year o level exam. it was really by faith. the confidence that i have is by Him. yes, it is by Him that passage was easy, picture and conversation was easy too. i can never thank Him enough!



due to lack of time and sleep. didn't manage to study for the two test. and it is really really last minute work. believe it or not, i haven even finish studying 1 chapter one day before the test. and Friday was not far away. finally coming into conclusion not to study but just learn how to draw the organic structure. hopefully, this will get me somewhere near pass.

i can only use one word to describe phase test. "crazy" 45 mins seriously was too short. things was really in a mess.



i saw 1 small piece of red paper pasting on the walls of the corridor next to each house. before i reach my door step, saw 1 piece of that red paper on top of the gate of my neighbor house. and normally this kind of paper pasting on walls only have one meaning. which someone is actually holding a Chinese religion funeral service. with no doubts, i know someone had gone. my mum said is the ah ma next door.

sad? abit. is not that we are very close neighbor. i seldom see her out of the house and there is language barrier. is that i know where she will be heading to after her this life on earth. that what upsetting me. and what left behind was 1 unwed son. is he very sad? the door was always closed since her mum left. i think to him is really very traumatise. first was his brother, now was his mum. maybe to him now, death is very very real. but what about hell? is hell very very real to him?

will the fire of hell be so real to us till we really experience it? who do not know that hell is full of fire? but who will know the pain of being burned by hell fire for eternity, non -stop of torture? one of the devil's greatest lie is "you still have time." how do you know? nobody knows the exact time?



finally, fish4men first street witnessing since it officially launched. waited for like 11 weeks. and time of fishing is here! i partnered with another "jing yu" and headed for fishing. God was good. cos is flag day again. every time when i do street witnessing there will be flag day student sell ling flags. from this street e, i had learn how to share in Chinese! I'm not a Chinese pro. so there are words that i do not know how to say in Chinese. and i really never share gospel in Chinese before. it is really not very clear compare to using English. her answer to my 关 键 question " were you choose to believe in Him?" was silence. i donnoe. this don seems to be her first time hearing the gospel. she refuse to say anything too when we ask her why or what's stopping her? but seriously she shows no interest. never mind. she is not rejecting me. she had rejected God. one person needs to hear the gospel for 7.6 times before they will make a decision to follow Christ. but what makes me thinking was, she believe that Jesus is God( that what she said for the survey that we did with her). since she believe that Jesus is God, why wont she accept Him?

everybody likes to do what they like or want to do. who will want to be under some rules and guild lines. " I'm not free, i don want to commit my every Sunday to church." or" i got more important things to do. cannot make it." when you really know who God is and the love he had for you, you may even give up everything for him.

God actually knows all the name of the stars in the sky. stars. what stars do is to shine, shine and shine. how about us? we do more than shining. wont God knows everybody names in the world? He created the galaxy. how can eight planets spin around a sun at the same time? wont they collide to each other? someone must be there, which know and make the exact measurement of how much space it needs.

Labels: forever God is faithful

this 2 weeks, is as usual. very busy. maybe more busy then usual. in this 2 weeks, got 2 test. how was it? not very good. somehow feel like had just been knocked down by cars. yes, that's how broken i am towards that 2 test. who to blame? myself? i cant explain why that happened. but only He knows why. or maybe He had already revealed to me the answer to this question. maybe that answer that i had now in mind is really that reason and I'm conscious of it. but what kind changes should i make? but on top of all this is the discipline that i need to have to continue with what i had started to do. but i know for sure that He will help me finish what He had started.



was feeling very dread to go to work again. cos exams are so near and i really want to spend time studying. but still have to work. so was very dread. the first thing my manager told me when i just reach work yesterday was " tomorrow is my last day here." " why so sudden?" " no, is not. i tot i told you before?" " oh, i tot is not successful?" "...." i know what she means. she never did try to give up on that plan even it is not successful at first. and finally, it got approved. should i be happy for her? as she finally gets what she wants? and successfully escaped from this workplace and into another new environment. she always said that this store is really very messy and stressful. that the reason why she wanted to transfer out to another store. i am surely going to miss her. miss the way she always called me crazy. miss the way she always said nasty things but doesn't really mean what she said. miss the way she will come to me and tell me what she recently encounter..... i will definitely miss her presence.

one manager goes off another come in. heard that the new manager is a formal rider that last time work in our store. i really hope we can get along well. yes, i believe it can be done.

it was Danny's shift yesterday.
Danny: "I'm still chasing your 2 star position for you."
me: "oh, i see."
Danny: "you know what is happening?"
me: "what?"
Danny: "you took your 2 star test before you got your 1 star."
sounds like the HQ doesn't approve it.
Danny: " I'm chasing it for you. anyway is 2006 matter. and after you got your 2 star already then i will adjust your pay."
me: "oh ok."

feel like telling him not to put hope on me. cos I'm leaving this work soon. am i going to get a pay rise soon? does that mean More responsibility? i hope not. i got enough of it.



that was my first prayer walk. never do it before. caijie was drawing the rough sketch of the map of aljiunied on the white board. some started laughing and some wonder what are the short form stand for. and one of the short form was "PC" so i told peici." PC stands for peici." after caijie finished his master piece, he explained his map. there are 2 way we can go. most of them cannot understand the route 2. peici and i was put in route 1 plus the rest, total 6 of us.
caijie: "xiao ming, which route do you want?"
xiao ming: "anything."
caijie: "anything means no road." laugh " so which route do you want?"
xiao ming: "anything."
caijie: "ok, then you join route 1"

fish 4 men first prayer walk since it is officially launched. i really thank God for this prayer walk. if not for this walk, i may not realise how our community was so lost. we went pass Chinese temple, Hindu temple, Taoism society, Chinese museums. one of the chinese museum is really scary. we stopped and pray as we walk pass. i really see alot of things through this prayer walk. Thank God.



guitar lesson is getting more fun. i think. cos now is the period of getting familiar with the chords fingering. looking forward to get familiar.



i sat down, suddenly notice that the person sitting in front of me looks so familiar. is it him? i wonder. are you sure is him? they look so alike. although is back view. his hair. and his shirt. immediately fear gripped my heart. i know at once which bus stop he will get down. i prayed that he wont see me when he get up to get down the bus... finally, the bus stop. my head was bow low. pretending to type message. he got down the bus and the bus leave the stop. i look up and saw the empty seat. i looked out of the window to see whether is it really him. it is. is him. is really him. thank God, his gone. i really don want to see him again. although i know is impossible as we lived so near to each other. is not that i have not forgive him, is that i feel so disgusted by his look, i can never directly face him anymore, that person is full of lies.




God..... please teach me and show me how to continue to love certain people in my life. give me the compassion that you have.


forever God is faithful. forever God is strong. forever God is with us. forever and ever, forever.


tomorrow is my o level oral. fear is now in my heart. take them away!!! i want to live a life of faith not a life of fear. i want to expect more. as God is bigger than my problems and worries. God is big enough to give all that i need!

Labels: you are my strength

went to watch movie with Michelle, hui yun, Chris, weijie and ying jun. suppose to watch the dark knight. but weijie got the wrong timing end up watching journey to the centre of the earth. but is a great movie too.

一 大 早 就 emo . maybe is ytd emo bring to today. seriously don want to stay at home. very disturbed by so many things at home. can you just stop asking me the same question? i know you care for me. but you really do not know me. feel like this home is just like a place for me to sleep only. can you stop acting like a kid. i know this the way you show your love, but I'm really uncomfortable with it and that is not the love that i want. i know you don have childhood, but it is really time to grow up. can you stop throwing things when things doesn't go your way. showing your anger cant get what you want. can you stop saying hurtful words to me calling me to leave this house if I'm not happy. can you stop saying you want to leave this house. how much do we really mean to you when you can easily say that you want to leave this house. is it possible to remove all the idols at home. so disturbing.
God, please teach me how to appreciate and have a thankful heart with what i have now and not complaints abdt it. show me your way.

sat down in the mrt seat. although there are pple around in the mrt, sitting next to me. in front of me. but im alone. suddenly feel that I'm the only one in the train. how great. feels great to be away. got the urge of sitting in the train forever and hoping that the train wont stop. but was back to reality when i have to get down the train.

10.30am. that early. i tot I'm the earliest. I'm not, Michelle was. waited for the rest to arrived before setting off to TM. feel so guilty, due to some reason, Joseph cant join us for the movie. is my fault, isn't it?

went home straight after movie to go work. felt dread to go work again. reali envy that the rest of them have so much free time. pool, bowl and arcade is the one that took up most of their time. i also want so many free time. then i can spend the whole day being away.

i also want to escape from reality. but 有 些 线 实 太 真 实 了 。 不 得 不 面 对 。

Labels: 你 完 全 不 了 解 我 。

today is national day. is it? i have missed national day parade for like 3 yrs since i started working. so this year was no much different. working to the max. 15 hours. so today was more of a normal day, maybe more than a normal usual routine cos it is a public holiday. which means more than normal as there will be extra pay. hahax.


air-con at the store brokedown at 9.50pm. it's only got fixed by 10pm. so, it is really extremely hot for that short 10mins. cos the kitchen was full of smoke coming out from the cooking oil. thank God. the manager able to get it fixed in 10mins. or not, i think i will turn out to be a steamed chicken.


yesterday
yesterday was national day celebration in school. i actually looking forward to something new comparing to what secondary school always do for celebration. disappointed. nothing new. is like secondary school. seeing performance. not really seeing actually was doing LLA project all the way. writing and pasting. super busy. the more upsetting part is that there are not enough space to sit. so is like we sat on the stairs. super dirty and disturbing when pple just keep coming thru us. then we must move to one side for them to pass. in fact, super disappointed with the overall celebration.


Michelle and i went to see our Crystal babies. the same, crystal not clear, not nice. when then will be a break though happen to our crystal? we are left with very less time. and i really don wan to go back to square 1. if this really do happen, i really feel like giving up. we only took 1 hour to change all breakers and check the condition. thank God. cos I'm not free to stay till very late.


we went to c1 and eat. 好 久 没 吃 日 本 餐 了 。 i should be feeling very happy and looking forward to my food. yes, i did. we sat down and eat. and it was really total silence at the table.


me: "会 不 会 觉 得 很 静 ?"
Michelle: "会。 "
some how that joy of eating had fade away. instead... 突 然 有 一 种 不 知 从 哪 来 的 压 力 感 。 非 常 非 常 的 沉 重 。


me: "你 会 不 会 感 觉 到 一 种 压 力 感 ?"
Michelle: "会 。"
me: "你 是 不 是 把 它 给 传 给 了 我 ? 还 是 是 我 传 给 你 的 ? 我 也 有 这 种 感 觉 。 你 是 为 什 么 而 压 力 ? "
Michelle: "我 不 知 道 。 "
me: "是 不 是 oral and o level ?"
Michelle: " ya."
me: " me too. 还 以 为 做 完 LLA 后 会 比 较 经 松 点 。 怎 么 一 点 分 辨 也 没 有 ? 反 而 压 力 好 像 变 得 更 大 呢 ? "
Michelle: "....."


exam are so so so near..... scream!!!!




i spend the whole night before to do LLA. only slept 2 hours. so i fell asleep straight after i found a seat to sit in the bus. thank God. manage to wake up just in time to get down from the bus and never missed the stop. and all the way back home, my eyes was half open. guess what's the first thing i did when i reach home. straight to the bedroom. i keep telling my mum that after i bath then we will set off to the hospital. but i actually fell asleep. after my mum and sister effort to get me out of the bed, then i woke up, crawl out and bath. thank God, is still early.


reach hospi abdt 4plus. all the way in the bus i was sleeping. and all the way till i reach home my eyes are also half open. the waiting time to do the blood test was shorter then i expected. oh man! and it cost like 65 bucks. sigh.....


cg at 7.30pm. still thought I'm leading ice beaker. but seems Marilyn had prepared then she took over. oh man! Marilyn's looks terrible cos she just went to pull out her wisdom tooth and her cheek was super bloated and got blue black too. see her, i super heart pain.


Marilyn: " since Jesus had died for us, why cant he stop human being form dying instead? so that they can live in this world forever. "
ivana: " why do u want to live in this chaotic world when you can actually go haven and live with Jesus? wages of sin is death. and all have sinned.


i really don want to live in this world forever. thank God cos he had prepared a place for me. i suddenly realise that i have been asking God and telling God what to do and what i want certain things to be. instead of asking God to teach me and show me his way to solve problems that I'm facing. isn't He incomparable? nothing is impossible. cos it is Himpossible.


i cant believe that this week i have been sleep walking, teeth grinding and nite leg muscle cramp. hopefully this will get better next week as i sleep earlier and get a good sleep.






this world is not my home, I'm just passing through. "this is my home surely?" Singapore is my home? home? what is home? I'm an alien in this world and i cant feel at home in this world anymore.

Labels: i really want to see YOu in heaven.

super random post...
this is really a super old song. first time when i heard this song was like im only sec 1.i have a liking on it. donnoe why. but i think is nice. maybe not to you. recently this tune just came floating on my mind. maybe i really miss my secondary school days.





爱不可能持久
尤其当一个人怀疑自己的时候
本来更甜美的话
现在却象在吵架
如果没有人想承认自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

爱不可能持久
尤其当你怀疑我不爱你的时候
本来想牵你的手
现在却觉得尴尬
如果没有人想承认自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

我不想失去你
又不知道如何去表达
我爱你明明在心里面回荡
我不想失去你
又不知道如何去表达
下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说爱我

another song. by Corrine may " angel in disguise"







it reminds me of the angel that i had met. the lyrics of this song is super great.



I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat
and Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places,Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.

Labels: 我要一个不一样的人生和生活。

no, no, no. this is not another dance group. it is just us lameing after cleaning up. LOL. found the cap in the cardboard.

this look funny. joseph looks like he was bully by us. hahax!!!

Marilyn!!! the noah.

look at the kids... playing the newspaper travel game.

this kid, she is so cute!!!!

the story that we did. noah and the great flood. wonder how come only got this photo for the story? cos everyone was busy with the story. LOL.

marilyn!!! mopping the floor.. she is realli good at it..

aaron with the kids. playing the first game. hu la hoop. looks like a daddy with his children.. hahax. wa.. u got so many kids..

look at them!!! so active involve in the game!!! how i hope i have join in. too bad, im the camera men.

wow.. so focus...... playing the relay game. he is afraid that his ping pong will drop. hahax.

i really really thank God for the success of this project. first time leading a project!!! i really donnoe how i find the faith to lead this project with grace. thanks grace, you really put in alot of effort.thanks for all the help from the cell group. really thank god for such a great cell group!!!

Lord you have teach me how to walk on water..... during the process of preparation of this project, there is time that i really feel like giving up. but You are still faithful to me. so faithful. you answer my prayer. not only giving us 28 kids for this event but also brought our whole cell closer and closer to you. i can never thank you enough.....





I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep

And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus you’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life

And I remember how You saw me:
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way!





all of my life. in every season. you are still God. i have a reason to sing . i have a reason to worship. i will bring praise, i will bring praise, i will rejoice, i will declare, God is my victor....

Labels: you are my strength

wow.. a super pack and busy week. due to prepration of the community project.

monday and tuesday
the beginnig of the week was already a tiring week. cos got work. so is like after doing crystal in sch, must rush down to work. and im late again.. ... ... by the time i reach home.. is reali super late..

wednesday
got test. and is on titration. was so nervous that my hand was shaking when using the dropper. LOL. so glad that i manage to get the front calculation correct. was quite confuse at first of what to do. so i label everything. den did the milk sample first. over shot!!! so i did 4times for milk and the unknown samlpe. i also donnoe how come i got time to do. maybe i reali do very fast. i open the vault continuosly for the unknown sample. dat y over shot. LOL. and den the volume of titrant used, the gap was so big. one was like 7point plus plus another was like 11point plus plus..Zzzz. the teacher nv c i do the titration for the unknown sample, still tot i do twice onli. asked me twice whether i got do not. dots.. suspect me.. did 4 times k. stay in sch till 630 den left. nv go tuition today, cos must meet up wif the cell group 2 discuss of the community project. still tot can rest cos nv go tution. hahax.

thursday
NAFA TEST!!! so dread of it. almost give up my 2.4km. but eventually still persuaded myself to run. thank God! i think will pass the 2.4. thank God! cos i manage to pass all station. geetar was so funny. was doing sit up and she count for me. she counted 27, 28, 29 and 40..... LOL. i was complainting where got so many. and yeah.. pass my standing board jump by 2 marks. tooked height and weight. funny, i tot i will gain weight cos of my emotion eating. but didnt and dropped. surprise.... hahax. was late 30mins late for guitar lesson. we took so many photo. teacher was funny. we went back into the classromm already, still tot he rushed to go for his another lesson. cos was already pass 6.30pm. end up we came out of the classroom, he still at the counter chatting with the clerk. reali uncle lorx. hahax.

friday
skipped cca. went home after doing crystal. i reali oso feel very 对 不 起 ms lee. cos our crystal r not clear n not nice. and she have such high expectation on us. i don dare to talk to her. telling her that sorry, we have fail to meet your expectation. is like only left one month. ONE MONTH. something must happen!!!! reach home and took a short nap. reali too sleepy. then went to buy sticker for the communty project. then grace and i meet up and do the shopping for the food. and you know today was the first day of the seven month. so everywhere were pple burning joss stick and papers. did saturation. by time we finish saturation was already 9.30pm. went to aaron's hse to practise the story. marilyn was the noah. peici and aaron was so funny, the way they acted drowing... reach home only at 12 . so late. Zzzz.

saturday
yeah!!!! today was the community project. reach aaron's house at 9.30 am to prepare the food. actually also didnt really helped. by the time going to help is like need to leave to go church for fish4men 了. and at fish4men, ps weena was sharing. she is one of the pastor that i really impress. last time she shared that how she actually bring her parents to christ and how her sister encourage her. she say we can actually pray anywhere. don have to find one place and sit down by yourself and pray. learn something new. don get shocked when you suddenly heard me talking to myself k.

right after fish4men, after my cell have arrived. here goes. so busy pumping ballons and preparing for this community project. hahax. before we knew, the kids are here already!!! OMG! haven prepare finish. but we start the event by playing games. i tot im suppose to lead the game with grace??? hahax. but was busy doing registration for the kids and taking photos. missed the part where grace do the hula. shld have take the photo. there are parents around too. oh men, the kids are so cute. onli brandon i don have the patience when comes to him. reali cant stand him, he is reali rude cos his team loss. God i pray you can give me more patience when i need to interact with him. after the game, we did our story. LOL. i think most of them was not listening. anyway it was quite messy. the story have start and the time when peici have to 上 场 then she was not there and still walking around. funny. peici, you are so cute!!! den came the most exciting part, is food time!!! and den was free and easy. manage to talk to some of the parents. they are really nice. got one parents she actually was sitting on wheel chair. at first i was wondering how she manage to come up from the stairs. 原 来 , she still can climb. jus that her legs was weak. samuel says that there is a kid that cal him an untrainned ballon maker. super funny.
kid : " this is the untrained ballon maker. called him to make a sword and he make a dog and it pops. "

after all the kids and parents left, we clean up the place. marilyn n i was mopping the floor with dove soap. cos there is no soap. went to take a quick dinner befor heading to FOP. the whole indoor statdium was so packed. was really a good sermon. but im really ver sleepy. haix. fall asleep. force myself to be awake. but really too tired. haix, missed a good sermon. is abdt growing old or growing up. we definately will grow old but not grow up. 1cor13:11 " when i was a child, i talked like a child, i thought like a child, i reasoned like a child. when i was a man, i put childish way behind me." God wants us to put aside childish. childish and child -like are different. God wants us to us to be child -like but not childish. and first is to accpet the responsibility that we have. responsible is the ability to respond. and what you have control over, you have responsible for it. reach home only at 12 plus also.

today
pastor mark conner came to our church. he is really veri funny. sermon was abdt the 7 power tools to build God's house. great sermon! how i hope there is no cet class. hahax. but got. almost fall asleep in the class.

is augest already??? oh no!!! haix.. oral is cominggggggggggggggggg... counting down already. stresssssssssss................

i think this week was quite a emo week. hahax. mayb bcos of the book im reading now. " the last sign" looking forward to His return. but God say he will only return when the good news are spread to everyone on earth.

when i look at the sky, at the clouds, how i hope You will appear and came down from there. jus like you have promised that you will come down from the clouds.

God, hope to see you soon!!!!

Labels: changes must take place and it begin with me