失 望 。 对 ，上 个 星 期 我 只 能 用 这 两 个 字 来 总 结 。因 为 我 和 害 怕 的 战 争 打 输 了 。 它 又 战 胜 了 。 但 是 ， 我 不 会 放 弃 。 我 一 定 会 在 下 一 个 与 它 的 战争 打 败 它 。
not enough time. cos o level are near. left 3 weeks only. i really donnoe how am i going to finish study for both my math and English. math is enough to drive me crazy. it is a mission impossible. and i must trust God with this. to help me finish things that can be only finish in 3 hours to finish in half an hour. to make impossible to Himpossible. but one thing, i still have to work. and i really don feel like working, as it take up too much of time. i need that time to study. but for the sake of my 4months tuition fees. i must 加 油 ！ but at the same time, i still want to trust God that He will provide.
read this from somewhere. which i really agree.
"you cant buy time, you cant sell time and you cant make time.
you cant credit it for tomorrow or give it to someone. you cant save it in a bank, nor can you withdraw it when you needed it most.
you cant just borrow time and lend them to someone who needed it.
when midnight strikes, it is another new day. another 24 hours for you.
you can use it wisely or simply have it wasted.
time is given to you free! but we will never know when our time will end."
no matter how much time i really need, i got 24 hours. 所 以 ， 就 这 样 吧 。
my sore throat haven recover. instead it got worst. block and running nose coming back. medicine makes me feel so drowsiness. i hate that feeling. distract me from focusing. oh man! if i don get better, i think i will fall sick again! no way, this time i wont let him win.
I'm working 15hours tml and Wednesday. CRAZY!
Labels: you are my strength
and
I'm crazy!
why?
I'm work 15 hours ytd with my 38.2 degree temperature.
no choice.
no replacement staff.
i felt very heavy when i first wake up. the exact feeling i got on Sunday. but worst than Sunday. when to take a cold shower hoping that it will at least make me feel better by melting down the heat in me. i really cant believe that I'm down with fever. i cant even remember when is the last time i am down with that. few years ago? i cant believe that I'm sick. cos i really not so easy get sick. i took my temperature and it says 37.9. cant believe. took again after 5 minutes. got higher and higher. ate one mouth of instant noodle and went to work with that super heavy head.
cant focus, cannot tahan. told Danny that i want to go see doctor and he tot I'm joking. do i looks like I'm ok? he must had been very insensitive to his staff. told him that I'm having fever he then agree. but he seems unwilling to give me the slip to see the doctor. come on.. kfc so rich, medical fees of that few bucks should be fine right? i nv say i going take MC. i just want to eat medicine. thank God, i got my medicine. Danny was like cant believe that the doctor didn't told me my temperature. actually i was not listening to what the doctor was saying. i just feel like sleeping.
nurse said only cough syrup will make me feel drowsiness. so i told all the tablet medicine. immediately i feel drowny. told my supervisor. she said are sure what the nurse said can be trust? took out my medicine and check. .... that is one that will cause drowsiness. the medicine is really taking its effect. i am sweating like tap water at the same time feel very sleepy. at abdt 4 plus pm, the drowsiness is really to the max. i can fell asleep by just standing there for awhile without doing things. n it feels like that a suction sucking me and then release. and suck again and release. it's terrible feeling, but some how till the point i enjoyed it. i think Danny saw me like going to fall asleep look. and called me to go in office and rest. thank God. that 5-10 mins nap was really helpful in giving me awkeness for the remanding hours.
i was thinking, this time round, i had overcome my sickness and still work under pressure. next time im sick, will it really be very serious? LOL.
and today, not yet recover from my fever. got a bit fed up when trying to secure the crystal in the container. cos it is really super hard. and my head start to spin. .... tells me that is time for medicine. but i nv bring.
tomorrow, another pack day. jia you! looking forward to days that spend with You. looking forward to see You.
Labels: you are my strength
crystal growing internal school competition result is out. the night before the competition, i still do not really know whether should i continue to hold on to this hope. i really donnoe, cos i know our crystal sure wont win. but i don not want to give up hope in entering NUS challenge. so i was quite stuck in between. but the result had just shown God's faithfulness. God sees my heart. He knows that i really hope to enter NUS challenge. He also knows that our crystal cant make it. but yet, he still provide a chance for us to go NUS challenge. thank you Lord! the result of the competition was that our crystal never win, but we will be taking over another group crystal to go for the NUS challenge. who will ever thought that this will happened? it is God controlling it. although at first felt abit very mixed feeling, cos do not really know to be happy or sad. but now, i want to be thankful of what He had given me. this is part of His plan, i believe i will definitely find a purpose and reason for entering this challenge. jia you!! Michelle , lets jia you!
exam are finally over. i donnoe whether i can make it or not, but i don want to give up hope. mugged for this exam with may at mac for 4 nights. it is indeed super exhausting, didn't go home to sleep for 4 days. i really miss my bed. but thank God, i didn't fall sick.
youth anniversary was finally here. although till the last minute, I'm still doubting whether to go or not. eventually still went. it was still dizzy in the morning. but God really blessed us with very good weather. the games was great. thanks for all the effort for making this event so successful. oh man! playing captain ball with cabbage and tomato is really something that i nv tried before. thank God! able to make new friends during this event. thanks all for coming. the sun was really too strong till the point it let me feel very sick. i got serious headache and sore throat the next day. but.. I'm really power! LOL. still go to church, eat dim sum with cell and go work after that. maybe 以 毒 攻 毒 really works for me.
crystal growing challenge is from 25 to 28 Sept. 4 days. some more is whole day. seriously, I'm really scare. 26 is the judging day. and heard ms lee said that is going to be like interview, we are to do a presentation. I'm scare that i will not be able to answer the question that they asked us. but God had not give us a spirit of fear. You said perfect Love cast out all fear. please come and cast out my fear Lord!
this week is going to be so pack too. busy with work, cos one auntie, kitchen staff is on leave. i have to take over her. and tml work is going to be 15hours to the max and the next day I'm working morning 8am. sianx. 加 油 ！ this is not the first time. i will get through! I really need alot of encouragement. 加 油 加 油 加 油 ！ ！ ！ ！ ！ going to be busy with doing crystal growing stuff. and i have to complete 3 papers for math and English in my TYS. i cant even find one free day just to rest. this is crazy. if only i don have to work, i think i will have more time to study.
ps: sorry this post is abit short, comparing to the rest.
Labels: you are my strength
was feeling very dread to go to work again. cos exams are so near and i really want to spend time studying. but still have to work. so was very dread. the first thing my manager told me when i just reach work yesterday was " tomorrow is my last day here." " why so sudden?" " no, is not. i tot i told you before?" " oh, i tot is not successful?" "...." i know what she means. she never did try to give up on that plan even it is not successful at first. and finally, it got approved. should i be happy for her? as she finally gets what she wants? and successfully escaped from this workplace and into another new environment. she always said that this store is really very messy and stressful. that the reason why she wanted to transfer out to another store. i am surely going to miss her. miss the way she always called me crazy. miss the way she always said nasty things but doesn't really mean what she said. miss the way she will come to me and tell me what she recently encounter..... i will definitely miss her presence.
one manager goes off another come in. heard that the new manager is a formal rider that last time work in our store. i really hope we can get along well. yes, i believe it can be done.
it was Danny's shift yesterday.
Danny: "I'm still chasing your 2 star position for you."
me: "oh, i see."
Danny: "you know what is happening?"
me: "what?"
Danny: "you took your 2 star test before you got your 1 star."
sounds like the HQ doesn't approve it.
Danny: " I'm chasing it for you. anyway is 2006 matter. and after you got your 2 star already then i will adjust your pay."
me: "oh ok."
feel like telling him not to put hope on me. cos I'm leaving this work soon. am i going to get a pay rise soon? does that mean More responsibility? i hope not. i got enough of it.
that was my first prayer walk. never do it before. caijie was drawing the rough sketch of the map of aljiunied on the white board. some started laughing and some wonder what are the short form stand for. and one of the short form was "PC" so i told peici." PC stands for peici." after caijie finished his master piece, he explained his map. there are 2 way we can go. most of them cannot understand the route 2. peici and i was put in route 1 plus the rest, total 6 of us.
caijie: "xiao ming, which route do you want?"
xiao ming: "anything."
caijie: "anything means no road." laugh " so which route do you want?"
xiao ming: "anything."
caijie: "ok, then you join route 1"
fish 4 men first prayer walk since it is officially launched. i really thank God for this prayer walk. if not for this walk, i may not realise how our community was so lost. we went pass Chinese temple, Hindu temple, Taoism society, Chinese museums. one of the chinese museum is really scary. we stopped and pray as we walk pass. i really see alot of things through this prayer walk. Thank God.
guitar lesson is getting more fun. i think. cos now is the period of getting familiar with the chords fingering. looking forward to get familiar.
i sat down, suddenly notice that the person sitting in front of me looks so familiar. is it him? i wonder. are you sure is him? they look so alike. although is back view. his hair. and his shirt. immediately fear gripped my heart. i know at once which bus stop he will get down. i prayed that he wont see me when he get up to get down the bus... finally, the bus stop. my head was bow low. pretending to type message. he got down the bus and the bus leave the stop. i look up and saw the empty seat. i looked out of the window to see whether is it really him. it is. is him. is really him. thank God, his gone. i really don want to see him again. although i know is impossible as we lived so near to each other. is not that i have not forgive him, is that i feel so disgusted by his look, i can never directly face him anymore, that person is full of lies.
God..... please teach me and show me how to continue to love certain people in my life. give me the compassion that you have.
forever God is faithful. forever God is strong. forever God is with us. forever and ever, forever.
tomorrow is my o level oral. fear is now in my heart. take them away!!! i want to live a life of faith not a life of fear. i want to expect more. as God is bigger than my problems and worries. God is big enough to give all that i need!
Labels: you are my strength
no, no, no. this is not another dance group. it is just us lameing after cleaning up. LOL. found the cap in the cardboard.
this look funny. joseph looks like he was bully by us. hahax!!!
Marilyn!!! the noah.
look at the kids... playing the newspaper travel game.
this kid, she is so cute!!!!
the story that we did. noah and the great flood. wonder how come only got this photo for the story? cos everyone was busy with the story. LOL.
marilyn!!! mopping the floor.. she is realli good at it..
aaron with the kids. playing the first game. hu la hoop. looks like a daddy with his children.. hahax. wa.. u got so many kids..
look at them!!! so active involve in the game!!! how i hope i have join in. too bad, im the camera men.
wow.. so focus...... playing the relay game. he is afraid that his ping pong will drop. hahax.
i really really thank God for the success of this project. first time leading a project!!! i really donnoe how i find the faith to lead this project with grace. thanks grace, you really put in alot of effort.thanks for all the help from the cell group. really thank god for such a great cell group!!!
Lord you have teach me how to walk on water..... during the process of preparation of this project, there is time that i really feel like giving up. but You are still faithful to me. so faithful. you answer my prayer. not only giving us 28 kids for this event but also brought our whole cell closer and closer to you. i can never thank you enough.....
I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
But You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?
You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw me:
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way!
all of my life. in every season. you are still God. i have a reason to sing . i have a reason to worship. i will bring praise, i will bring praise, i will rejoice, i will declare, God is my victor....
Labels: you are my strength
actually was feeling quite discourage today. cos of the community project. only 3 pple turn up 2 do the saturation. and the respond of no. of kids interested to come was less too. was really loss heart le. till the point i keep praying in my heart calling God to provide and i start singing "let everything that have breath, praise the lord forever..." but after service today, i have came to a conclusion. today sermon was abdt how to fight a good fight of faith. and is really applicable 2 what im going thru now. i shouldn't feel discourage is the devil that is now putting this in me. i should resist it and instead i should encourage everyone. i have a great chat with grace after church. my conclusion is let us not look at the number of kids that will turn up even if there is only 1 kid coming. so??? still can reach out to that 1 and only kid. let us all have fun and also grow deeper in our fellowship and not get dishearted. jia you everyone!!! let us praise him in every circumstances. "press on" so many pple fall sick.... get well soon!!! may God 's healing power rest upon you.
today we sang this amazing grace song by Chris Tomlin. reminds me of the very moment i accept God. remind me of his amazing grace. reminds me that I'm once lost. reminds me that I'm set free. and reminds me of his love for me.
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost,
but now I'm found, Was blind
but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine
Lord, thank you. i cant imagine my life without you. i cant imagine how my life will be without you. thank you.
Labels: you are my strength
