i just read my previous blog again and realise how much anger is actually is filled with. oh no! anger take control again!!!!! HELP!!!! i know i haven been updating my blog.. yup.. and this post wont be a short1 k.

below is the picture of the Crystal me n Michelle is growing... the one and only surviving crystal. but you know what.. is not clear.. so it can be thrown away le. but there is no more chemical left for us 2 make another bath of solution, and the chemical will only come in the 4th week of July(what's wrong with the supplier?). is super long... how 2 grow? the challenge is on Sept. 算 了 。 反 正 也 只 是 为 了 一 张 纸 。yup, for the sake of a certificate n experience only. some more is competing with the whole Singapore's schools from secondary, JC and poly. hehe.. it is reali hard 2win. only pass 2 weeks into growing the crystal. reali must have patience. especially when our breakers and watch glass keep going missing in the oven. we waited so long for all of the apparatus 2 dry. but when we will back from refilling ultra pure water from another lab.. hehe.. all gone... thank God this is not happening again when we started 2 label our group name on it.

other group Crystal is growing not bad 的. quite smooth. how come ours is not??? ms lee say is really depend on luck. but is there such thing call luck? no matter how Michelle scrubs n wash all the breakers that we going 2 use, is still dirty.( and the stain on the breaker can only be seen after drying in the oven.)

prayer request: pray that my crystal can grow big and strong.

went to work today. i tot Lina will not be able 2 make it. but she did. thank God. or not, i will die. even with her help today, is still killing me, my back and foot super sour. not again, is RM Danny shift again. he told me that he had checked my status on my position with the HQ. and he said that i am 2star crew since 2006. oh i was shocked, as in, that is very long ago, 2 years. and i did not receive a letter at all 2 confirm i am at 2 star position. i tot the management didn't complete in doing the paper work 4 2star position application after i retake the test for 2 time. you know, when increase in position, got increase in pay. so, the company have just cheaped me.... LOL.... although is just a small increase, a few cents, 15cents. but, 2 years lehx.. LOL... although i reali want more pay. but I'm reali happy with my position now. i only scare when i reali become 2star, i got more responsible 2 do, and that equal 2 more stress.

the management planned me 2 work till 11.30pm next sat. this is crazy. cos the bus that I'm taking home, last bus is at 11.35pm. and the pple that is going 2 work with me next sat is that guy. Grrr.. last time,working with that guy can just mean me working alone... thank God he got improve abit already. not that stubborn when i call him 2 do work. but also not good until where. i only scare 他 老 毛 病 再 犯 。then will just leave me alone 2 handle all the orders from cashier and the home delivery side. one of his bad habit is 2do first those things that can be leave a side first. then i will keep calling him 2 do but he will either ignore me or do and then walk 2 the cook station 2 help them with racking of chicken, or go 2 the home delievery station 2 help pack the orders... is reali hard 2 talk to him whereas he don like 2 respond. how do i know whether u really get my point not. but Saturday onli me and him is reali cannot make it. how? i also donnoe.

thanks 2 weijie, finally got the chance 2 watch L change the world. the movie that i want 2 watch so badly last time but missed it. hahax.. i watched twice le.. one with Chinese audio, and second with English audio. not i too free, i just like the movie very much.

they will saying cos of the increasing number of human being living in this world then leads 2 global warming. then must kill all those excess human being, or is it human being that is full of greed with the deadly virus. but i was thinking, by using this way 2 destroy human being and not using this way to destroy them. what is the different? the world will still have alot of pple after more are born, even if u kill them all. we will still have global warming even with very less pple using all the resource. eventually all those resource still will be used up. so what is the similarity? it is, everybody will still die. no matter it is thru virus or nature death. the moment we are born, we start 2die. no longer how long or how short the time is. still the same. cant avoid death. all will face it sooner or later. hahax. but after dying, it's another beginning.

Labels: 我要一个不一样的人生和生活。

went 2 school for Crystal growing workshop. i tot is really only workshop. but never did i expected, we are call 2 prepare 2 grow the Crystal right away after the workshop. and that means i have 2 go school everyday from today onwards to observe the Crystal. n there goes my holidays. say bye... this is so fast k. i tot we will only be growing the crystal when school reopen. looks like i cant work in the morning during the holidays le. ( that means i cant go on work on Wednesday.) n that means lower income.. sian sian.. if only one day can be longer than 24 hours.

i saw my brother today at the bus stop while I'm waiting 4 bus 2 go school. i didn't realise is him at first. then he suddenly shouted at me. i was shocked! then realise is him. we have a short chat in the bus before he got down 4stops later.

i was really super super angry at work today. cos pearlyn is here again!! the yaya papaya area manager. really super angry with her. she once again accuse me of doing things wrongly. Grr.... but she once again didn't see the whole story and 不分青红皂白的 blame me 4 doing wrong. and i really didn't do wrong. and this is what exactly happened:

i was doing twister for standby, in case there is order from customer. i made 2 to standby. so i roll the twister up and put it in the storage container. n cover it. then continue 2 roll another twister that is left. she came and open that storage container and say i should put the storage container in the warming cabinet. is like of course i know la. don you have eyes 2 see that i am actually rolling another twister so that i can put it together in the storage container? is not i donnoe or don want 2 put the storage container in the warming cabinet. is i haven finish. and she shitty is thinking of what. this not the first time she have accuse me for things that i didn't do wrong already. the first time was the fries basket, she tot i never shake. but the problem is i already shake and she happens 2 not 2 see it. I'm really really angry. feel like telling her that can she just stop walking with her nose in the air and every time appears 2 criticize what everybody is doing, trying 2 find fault so as 2 scold us and show how powerful she is. STOP IT!!! i really donnoe what is your purpose of coming down 2 check on the store. is it just 2 pour pressure and discourage on your staff? and i think you should give us more encouragement than just 2 tell us" hey this 1 cannot like that and that 1 cannot like that.'' every time she is around, i really feel like leaving the job. cos i know whatever i do, she wont be happy with it or even appreciate it.so what is your position high. it doesn't mean success yet. we can just not cooperate and leave the job immediately. everybody in the store don like her. she really spoilt my mood till now.

I'm really INNOCENT and i wont admit that I'm wrong!!! cos I'm not wrong at all!!!

算了算了算了！！！！反正， 我真的会换工作。with this type of pple as the management team, everybody will suffer. i should just think of Jesus. how he handle similar situation when he was accuse of things that he never do. Lord, will you just put out that anger in me.




one day in the house of God is better than thousand day in the world.

Labels: 算 了 吧 。 。 。

i found out another way of getting rid of stress and worries le. is 2 laugh. but not like really laugh 4 no reason. but laugh becos is funny. i think by laughing can temporarily take me away from stress. at least 4 awhile. hahax. now then i realise.

this week is the beginning of the first week of holiday. but how come i can feel that is going 2 school open so soon n fast even on the first day of holiday? oh no, stress is coming back. (that fast) anyway, this holiday definitely is not meant 4 all the fun. cos i really have 2 make full use of this holiday 2 study and work.

Monday, went 2 work .

Tuesday, went out with friends.

Wednesday, took my mum 2 see doctor. i cant believe we actually waited almost 2 hour 4 our turn. and then we went in 2 see the doctor also like 15mins then came out 了。 but thank God, my mum blood test result was good that she only will be coming back 2 see this doctor in 4 months time. the doctor say my mum have 2 do some neck exercise everyday n order not 2 result in very stiff neck. but the problem is she wont do the exercise if i don do with her. i hope i can find some time everyday 2 do this exercise with her . and i need 2 check on her everyday whether she got eat her medicine. most of the time i check on her she will say she haven eat or later she will eat. this really worries me. what if some unexpected things happen? I'm really not prepare 4 it. if only mummy's thinking can change a bit(at least a bit) then i will be more 放心. she have do blood test 1 week before 4 all her appointment she have. looks like more and more lesson I'm going 2 missed(how 2 catch up?) when school reopens. and you know i have very serious stm. i really scare i will forget those dates of appointment and blood test. i already forget once. end up we already paid 4 the blood test but never go. there is this appointment must go in order 2 collect medicine. i forget too. oh no. getting so old. the doctor say my mum have 2 drink milk or eat food that contains calcium that she will be needing. and i really hopes i can remember 2 buy 4 her.

我看起来好像不在乎，但是其实不是你想像的那样。
and then is tuition at night. i haven pay my tuition fees yet. hoping that God will provide.

Thursday, went 2 work.

Friday, went 2 funan IT hall with Michelle 2 take the guitar course. the teacher keep having that mindset that we take up guitar course is 2 impress pple. feel a bit disturbed. he seems 2 like 2 mumble 2 himself. cos he don speak very clearly. so was like some part don catch what he wants 2 say. Michelle think agrees with me too. i think the lesson is super short lorx. feels so much 2 have a longer session. but overall, i think is quite ok. cos is something new that i never tried before. although i think play violin is more fun. went 2 meet marilyn at tecman 2 pick present 4 grace after lesson. is her birthday. there is this pass on card that usual price is 50cents each. but then at this session of tecman it actually sell 15pcs 4 1 dollar only! wow, so we both brought 30pcs each. and then we left 4 cell group. cant believe that they actually wrap the present up with newspaper. cos is super funny. we ordered pizza. i already forget when is the last time i eat pizza. is really been quite sometime.

today, morning went swimming with lexandra. after that went 4 fish4 men. i was really so sleepy, i dozed off actually. although i really try my best 2 keep myself awake. i drank a lot of water. but no use. i think caijie saw me dozing off. feel really really guilty. the lesson is not boring. I'm just too tired. feel so guilty. went 2 work at 4pm. wa... is really super busy today. i think everyday also. due 2 lack of manpower. i made so many twister non stop and burgers. really super exhausted. feel like my back is going 2 break anytime. really every time got this feeling.

Labels: part of my life

i had quit archery. cos i wanted 2 fully commit my Saturday morning 2 fish4men. although i want so much 2 continue staying in archery, cos they say they going 2 form a girls team as they do not have a girls team at the moment. but how? i don know 分身术. so i decided 2 give up archery. anyway, i only have 1 life and it will soon be gone, and only what done for Christ will last. and 1 thing that you cannot do in heaven is evangelism cos everyone up there is already saved.

so i went 2 fish4men today. get a chance 2 know this sister. she is very nice and open 2 me. she said she was very encouraged by me, cos i was saved through fish4men. actually when i recall back of what had happened in my life, i actually found God sending his messager 2 me even before i got saved, even at very very young age. I'm just waiting for someone 2 tell me who this God really is. and yup, the time have come when someone witnessed 2 me. my heart is ready and open for the good news. i will never ever forget i was once lost and now found.

the love God have for us, cannot be silence. we must proclaim it. how can it be silence? is too great that it cannot be silence. same as the love you may have 4 someone else other than God. how can you remain silence and not try all ways 2 let the person know the love you have for him/her. typical human being will always have the mindset of wanting something in return.

is what you are living for worth dying for? think about this question. what is driving your life at this point of your life? is it all those material stuff? or an approval from someone? or other not so important thing.

went 2 work at 4pm. really don feel like working. always feel like quiting this job. is like almost 1 week i have not been working. saw some changes in the store. the office got some rearrangement of some stuff and got a new long mirror on the wall. feels like a bed room. the sink area also have new stuff. a rack is fixed beside the sink 2 put all the containers.

i do kitchen with 1 sp staff today. super busy due 2 new promo, toasted twister. i tasted it. i think is like super normal, nothing so special at all. wonder why still got so many pple buying it and eat.

worked in this job 4 3yrs. and super sianx le. still have 2 holds on till the end of this year before i can change job. maybe i should just step out in faith that God will provide me with another better job. or maybe i should just pray that God can give me a renew passion 4 this job. i really so sick of it. but if recall the time that i have spend there, really will feel a bit unbearable 2 part. days when i can get so angry that i can give attitude the whole day. days when I'm so tired from working full shift everyday that i can just lie on the floor 2 sleep first thing when i reach home. days when i just start 2 learn how 2 do cashier that i can sleep talk saying" crispy or original?". but all are the past. cant bring them back anymore. i need 2 move on 2 greater and bigger things.

tomorrow is fathers' day. have you planned 2 do something special for your father? just want 2 wish all fathers out there a happy fathers' day!

Labels: 就是这样

holiday is finally here!!! yeah!!!

I'm finally back from church camp on Wednesday. what a extremely great camp!


is my first family church camp! got a great speaker, Rev ong. many recognise him as a prophet. he is super great as he had already predicted that my Church is in the process of changing . he is super funny too. " i don eat eggplant. cos egg is egg and plant is plant." " pastor how come i can only see total darkness?" "of course, that the underneath of your eye lid." and lots of funny stuff. although i didn't like get a word from him but, he did give some of my cell mate word. wow! really a great camp, seeing every1 in my cell rising up. especially peici, God actually told her how he actually wanted 2 use our cell group. so she told us that God says that each and every1 of us in this cell are very special and we will be dispersed in2 different ministries 2 serve him. wowowowwowow. super excited in what area God actually wants 2 use me in. we human being is designed 2 worship God. and really cant have enough of it. just wants 2 keep on singing praise 2 Him. rev ong really preached a powerful message.

of course we did went 2 sunway pyramid 2 shop on the second day afternoon. laugh out loud, actually i was planning 2 buy a jacket, and the lady boss of the shop keep forcing me 2 buy the jacket. but.. i didn't buy. i bet she must be super angry with me. cos she talk so much and i never buy. we only have service until 7pm and the rest was free time.super great. my cell group played cards together 4 2 of the nights. great bonding. prayer meeting on the third day was super powerful, and the last night service. the holy spirit just keep tucking my heart.

my cell was always late 4 morning service due 2 our devotion always eat into the breakfast time. so we don have time 2 eat. and we wants so badly 2 sit in the front few rows. so we put our things on the seats before we leave 4 our breakfast. hahax.

i really missed camp and my hotel bed.

and today Friday, went 2 school finally after 4long days of school missed. hui yun is as usual so cold towards me. feel so much 2 find the energy that she use 2 have when we first met on the orientation. have the illness drain away all her energy? or maybe she just do not know how 2 express herself verbally. she did one very sweet thing. which is 2 help me copy additional notes on my lecture notes. and today IC lesson only last about 1hour.

and then is phase test. thanks 2 wei jie, i am able 2 know what exact question came out. but although got lots of tips from all my friends, i think i still did quite bad. cos my calculation is wrong. and the second calculation question also wrong. then i 4get 2 do the DF. confirm loss quite a number of points. and the preparing of the stock solution i did wrong too. worst, i BREAK my breaker. cos we don really have the time 2 finish all the dilution. then one of the teacher said we only left with 2 mins. but the problem is i only dilute 2 times only. so didn't manage 2 finish. anyway, they are not really watching what i m doing too. so i pour everything in my waste beaker. which is so full . when i was like poring the waste out of the breaker, the top part, at the mouth of the breaker breaks. lucky ms lim never call me 2 pay 4 it. Michelle waited 4 more than 2 hours 4 me. hey so sorry 2 keep you waiting. we went 2 funan IT hall 2 register the course 4 our enrichment hours. thank God so much 4 putting nice and good pple in and around my life.

went home, take a sleep 4 about an hour. met cell mate at 7.15pm 4 dinner. we have our very own prayer meeting. cos there is only4 of us. so we just spend the rest of the time praying, worshipping God. is super great. God's presence is with us.

left about 4 months 2 o level. super fast. and i really don have time. i need 2 work during this 3 weeks holiday. must settle my tuition fees. and i think when the next school term start, must pay school fees le. so i must make sure my bank account got enough money. i think i should just depend on God 4 help.

Labels: 要如何形容我的心情呢???

in respond of Michelle wants me do de quiz.


1) at which age do you want to get marry?

sorry, but at this point of time i plan not 2 get marry.

2) who is more important to you? friends or boyfriend?

of course friends.

3) who is the person you trust most?

God.

4) do you think you have enough confident?

no. but i believe God will help me get out of my low self esteem.

5) are you over your ex?

of course. is like 2 yrs ago thing. and that is not love at all. why must i still hold on 2 it and let it hurt me.

6) do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

yes.

7) what are your goals for this year?

is to pass my English and E math o level and to grow more intimate in relation with God.

8) do you believe in eternity love?

yes. only referring 2 the love God give.

9) have you ever break someone hearts that he or she tried 2 commit suicide?

no.

10) what feeling do you love the most?

got quite a number of it. i love the feeling of eating. love the feeling of being happy. love the feeling of people feeing happy.love the feeling of people being so touch and moved by God. love the feeling of trying very hard and finally got what i tried hard on. love the feeling of God's presence.

11) if 1 day your best friend and boyfriend quarrel, who will side with and what will you do?

i will side the person that is right( sorry sometime i just like 2 go by the book). and i will try 2 talk things out.

12) list out your 5 best friends.

hui, eeyore, may, lexandra, hui xian.

13) do you cherish every single friendships of yours?

what do you think???

14) what is the best word 2 describe you?

special.( everyone is uniquely created by God. can you find some1 that is equally like you?)

15) what do you think is the most important in your life?

God.

16) do you love anime?

okok.

17) what have you done 2 please yourself?

i will eat a lot of junk food, i will tidy up my table until it is super nice i will write in my nicest handwriting.

18) if time were 2 be rewind, will you want it 2 be?

hahax. a lot. i want 2 go back 2 sec2 camp, sec 4 school days, last year youth camp, church camp that just finish few days back( i miss my hotel bed).

19) do you love your boyfriend?

who? I'm single and not available.

20) if you like someone you really like, what will you do?

ask God is that person really is my Mr right.

OK . done.

Labels: part of my life

i will only be updating my blog once a week. so don need bother 2 read k.


what a week.. time really since 2 be flying so fast. and is the end of the week. and tomorrow is CHURCH CAMP!!!! yeah!!!


busy week as usual

Monday, school in the morning and work at night. super tired. left with no energy 2 study.
Tuesday, was the same as Monday.
Wednesday, got tuition after school. same super tired.
Thursday, class test i had just ruin it again. but who cares right?
Friday, when buying some stuff 4 church camp with may n lexandra right after school.
and today, swimming at 8am, fish4men at 10.30am, worship u alone at 5.30am


i suddenly realise on Friday that i already very long never把烦恼革一边。慢慢的和朋友闲逛。有一种无法形容的轻松和快乐。

maybe is becos almost most of the worries have been settle. or maybe becos it is just so long since i last go shopping with no purpose. anyway, my mum's appointment is being post pone. so don have 2 worry about whose going 2 bring her. test is over. although another test is coming soon. IC test. knew it. teacher 没有这么容易放过我们 before our holidays. never mind. but is on Wednesday. i wont be back 2 school yet. but did told IC teacher on Friday. but her reply was really not very securing. she just say ok. didn't even ask me which class i from or what is my name. anyway i will pester her 2 let me take the test on Friday.


worship you alone was great. if only it can last longer. just want 2 spent longer time in God's presence.


we may not be perfect in the things we do. but so? you think you can do better? i don care. cos u are also not perfect. 虽然，会一直想要做的越完美越好。虽然办不到。但我知道我已经进我全力了。所以我会满足，但也会想要做的更好。你以为我不想吗? 我真的很想。但是， 如果只是单凭我自己的力量当然做不到。因为还需要祢所给的力量才能完成你要我做的事。


我觉得为别人活着是一种快乐。就是因为你快乐所以我快乐。不要问我为什么。如果一个人的世界只有自己，那个人会快乐吗? 如果你觉得是会的，那你到不入去沙漠健屋子过生活吧。这只是是我的想法。你当然能和我唱反调。你觉得呢?

Labels: 就是这样

so long haven been updating my post. and i wont be updating so often 了。


7 days more 2 church camp. i donnoe but i got mixed feeling. cos i haven told my parents that I'm going yet. cos my mum's appointment is on 9jun. i donnoe how 2 tell them. but sooner or later i have 2 tell them. Marilyn said she can bring my mum 4 appointment. but i really hope she wont gets mad as i leave her alone n call a stranger 2 bring her 2 hospital n me, go church camp. really mixed feeling.

i know sooner or later they will find out that i have already convert 2 christian. and i really hope they can respect my decision. i don want 2 create another chaos at home. 因为这样大家都不会快乐。

Ac class test on Thursday. then how about IC? when will the test be?

如果一切能快一点结束，就不需要烦恼了。