holiday is finally here!!! yeah!!!

I'm finally back from church camp on Wednesday. what a extremely great camp!


is my first family church camp! got a great speaker, Rev ong. many recognise him as a prophet. he is super great as he had already predicted that my Church is in the process of changing . he is super funny too. " i don eat eggplant. cos egg is egg and plant is plant." " pastor how come i can only see total darkness?" "of course, that the underneath of your eye lid." and lots of funny stuff. although i didn't like get a word from him but, he did give some of my cell mate word. wow! really a great camp, seeing every1 in my cell rising up. especially peici, God actually told her how he actually wanted 2 use our cell group. so she told us that God says that each and every1 of us in this cell are very special and we will be dispersed in2 different ministries 2 serve him. wowowowwowow. super excited in what area God actually wants 2 use me in. we human being is designed 2 worship God. and really cant have enough of it. just wants 2 keep on singing praise 2 Him. rev ong really preached a powerful message.

of course we did went 2 sunway pyramid 2 shop on the second day afternoon. laugh out loud, actually i was planning 2 buy a jacket, and the lady boss of the shop keep forcing me 2 buy the jacket. but.. i didn't buy. i bet she must be super angry with me. cos she talk so much and i never buy. we only have service until 7pm and the rest was free time.super great. my cell group played cards together 4 2 of the nights. great bonding. prayer meeting on the third day was super powerful, and the last night service. the holy spirit just keep tucking my heart.

my cell was always late 4 morning service due 2 our devotion always eat into the breakfast time. so we don have time 2 eat. and we wants so badly 2 sit in the front few rows. so we put our things on the seats before we leave 4 our breakfast. hahax.

i really missed camp and my hotel bed.

and today Friday, went 2 school finally after 4long days of school missed. hui yun is as usual so cold towards me. feel so much 2 find the energy that she use 2 have when we first met on the orientation. have the illness drain away all her energy? or maybe she just do not know how 2 express herself verbally. she did one very sweet thing. which is 2 help me copy additional notes on my lecture notes. and today IC lesson only last about 1hour.

and then is phase test. thanks 2 wei jie, i am able 2 know what exact question came out. but although got lots of tips from all my friends, i think i still did quite bad. cos my calculation is wrong. and the second calculation question also wrong. then i 4get 2 do the DF. confirm loss quite a number of points. and the preparing of the stock solution i did wrong too. worst, i BREAK my breaker. cos we don really have the time 2 finish all the dilution. then one of the teacher said we only left with 2 mins. but the problem is i only dilute 2 times only. so didn't manage 2 finish. anyway, they are not really watching what i m doing too. so i pour everything in my waste beaker. which is so full . when i was like poring the waste out of the breaker, the top part, at the mouth of the breaker breaks. lucky ms lim never call me 2 pay 4 it. Michelle waited 4 more than 2 hours 4 me. hey so sorry 2 keep you waiting. we went 2 funan IT hall 2 register the course 4 our enrichment hours. thank God so much 4 putting nice and good pple in and around my life.

went home, take a sleep 4 about an hour. met cell mate at 7.15pm 4 dinner. we have our very own prayer meeting. cos there is only4 of us. so we just spend the rest of the time praying, worshipping God. is super great. God's presence is with us.

left about 4 months 2 o level. super fast. and i really don have time. i need 2 work during this 3 weeks holiday. must settle my tuition fees. and i think when the next school term start, must pay school fees le. so i must make sure my bank account got enough money. i think i should just depend on God 4 help.

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do you agree? cant you image a person actually spent about one quarter of his life sleeping? imagine what i can do with all these time ??? but, 1 sad facts. we are designed in a way that we need sleep and rest. so no matter how hard i tried not sleeping, still have 2 sleep.

the kind of feeling you will get when you are lack of sleep is really a torture. my head gets so heavy and giddy and got a feeling of like stuck in something in my head . or not my eyelids will get so heavy that it cant stand 2 open 4 even 1 second long. den my whole body will be so heavy. haix... cannot help it. must sleep arhx...

if only there is something that can power us up when we eat it. and den we wont feel tired and sleepy at all le. then we can use the time 2 do stuffs that we can be more effective in any aspect of our life.

I'm really lack of time 2 do a lot of things. (including sleeping) and this lack of time and things that is going on now is really making me stress up.

mum just go 4 op.when i told her that she wont be discharge by today, she grumbler. complain 2 me that she cant sleep, is very hot, is very noisy. and call me 2 call the doctor 2 let her go home. but.. this is really something that i cant help or control arhx. what does she wants me 2 do? but after i told her is better 2 recover fully then go back then 2 come back again. so she didn't say much after that le.

my sister, complaints 2 me about her job. she cant understand why is she need 2 do all the job whereas that gal that is working together with her cant do it. why leaving it all 2 her. i really donnoe why i get my sister 2 work with me in the same place. sort of like i bring her 2 hell. cos i know clearly stress there is really unbearable. maybe she should plan of quiting this job too le.

super not enough time. now i have 2 go down 2 see and take care of mum everyday till she discharge. and then i still need 2 work. and then i need 2 study 4 my test that is coming so soon and my o level. and then i need 2 go tuition and finish the homework teacher give. and then i got cca, i got Crystal growing thingy, and then i got friends coming 2 me and ask me 2 join the same cca as them. is really makes me 一个头两个大! lucky i haven burst yet.

recently that is this part time rider at my work place(his full time job actually is a fire and rescue specialist). he is really a very nice person. so that day he asked me." how come the older you get the more moody you are?" so i answer him saying that the older i get the more responsible i got the more responsible i got, the more pressure i got. the more pressure i got, the more stress i am. the more stress i am, the more emo i get. and that why i always get so emo especially when i go 2 work. so many things 2 do, so little pay. and they(manager) don appreciate what i do. and then he said that i should try 2 get out of this stress and not let it consume me. ya i know. his right. but the problem is, the only way i know that can actually kill my stress is 2 eat. eat and eat. i haven discover other ways yet. but of course the most effective way is 2 just get me out of this stress and go far far away from this place that i live. best is to go heaven. no stress, no grief. only got joy.

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this is what happened on Friday.......


woke up at 6.30am 2 bring my mum 2 the hospital. reach there, the nurse asked us how come we will so early. i thought we actually should be late already.cos it is stated that we should report at 7am. but we reached st 7plus near 8am. then i realise the surgery was actually pushed back. and i actually donnoe. the nurse call us 2 come back at about 11. the surgery will only be at 12pm. so my mum and i went downstairs, cos i want 2 eat breakfast. i know i actually shouldn't eat de. cos my mum is fasting 4 the surgery. aiya.. but i still end up eating. we return back 2 the ward at 9plus near 10. waited till 12pm, the nurse call us in and prepared my mum 4 the surgery. as i watch the nurse push the bed slowly 2 the op theater.. not a bit of worried at all.somehow i just feel peace inside.... so she went in about 12 plus and i went home. cos the surgery will take about 4 hours and she still have 2 stay in the recovery room 4 2 hours.


i came back 2 the hospital at 6pm with my dad. expecting her 2 be out at around 7pm. but we waited and waited, she's not out yet. my dad says that is too late 2 stay. so he went back home and called me 2 call him when my mum is out. so... i waited and waited. i watch the lift from level 2 comes up 2 level 7 and waited 4 the lift door 2 open. hoping that it was my mum that was pushed out from the lift. but is not. finally, i saw the lift's door open and the nurse pushed a bed out of the lift. it must be my mum i tot. there is 2 groups of family waiting at the waiting area too. one group stood up and see that bed that is pushed out too. and i saw another person on the bed instead of my mum. my heart sink real deep down. disappointed...


and is 8plus already. so i went 2 the nurse again and asked her when my mum will be out. and she said she will only be out at 9plus. so that means i have 2 wait 4 another hour. i stood at the waiting area. the two family that each consist about 10 members occupied all the seats in the waiting area. seeing one of the family chit chatting happily. how i hope there is also a group of pple with me, waiting 4 my mum 2 be out. but actually you know what, these two group of family, the family member that they are waiting for are already out from the recovery room. i really donnoe why they are waiting 4 what? maybe waiting 4 the doctor 2 come.(but it is really going 2 be very late the doctor then will come, heard the nurse said). so they were will like having their own gathering there. and i, really really feel very lonely. how i hope at least someone could call me and talk 2 me but i receive zero phone calls. i started 2 worried why my mum actually took so long 2 come out. but i really cant do anything. i cant focus 2 read the book that i brought alone with me. and then about 9plus, 1group of the family left, and finally can sit down(yeah).


finally at 10pm, she's out. saw the nurse slowly pushed the bed out from the lift 2 the high dependency unit. after the nurse had settle her down and i finally can see her!!! saw her stitches on her neck down 2 her shoulder, my heart arches. i really cant bear 2 see her bearing that pain. tears sting my eyes, i blinked it away in case she get more worried. feel so mush 2 comfort her form her pain. but i know words wont worked much( esp. when i really not good in hokkien). stayed with her 4 about half an hour, comforting her that she will be out of the hospital soon on Monday and the next week the stitches will be removed. is getting quite late. so i left her 2 rest.feel so much 2 cry. but it is just stuck in my throat, cant swallow it down too. lucky my journey back home have hui and eeyore on the phone with me. or not i think i will be.......... you know what bah.. don need me 2 mention.......


thank God the surgery was a success. thank God 4 my mum's life. thank God...

Labels: 要如何形容我的心情呢???