i found out another way of getting rid of stress and worries le. is 2 laugh. but not like really laugh 4 no reason. but laugh becos is funny. i think by laughing can temporarily take me away from stress. at least 4 awhile. hahax. now then i realise.

this week is the beginning of the first week of holiday. but how come i can feel that is going 2 school open so soon n fast even on the first day of holiday? oh no, stress is coming back. (that fast) anyway, this holiday definitely is not meant 4 all the fun. cos i really have 2 make full use of this holiday 2 study and work.

Monday, went 2 work .

Tuesday, went out with friends.

Wednesday, took my mum 2 see doctor. i cant believe we actually waited almost 2 hour 4 our turn. and then we went in 2 see the doctor also like 15mins then came out 了。 but thank God, my mum blood test result was good that she only will be coming back 2 see this doctor in 4 months time. the doctor say my mum have 2 do some neck exercise everyday n order not 2 result in very stiff neck. but the problem is she wont do the exercise if i don do with her. i hope i can find some time everyday 2 do this exercise with her . and i need 2 check on her everyday whether she got eat her medicine. most of the time i check on her she will say she haven eat or later she will eat. this really worries me. what if some unexpected things happen? I'm really not prepare 4 it. if only mummy's thinking can change a bit(at least a bit) then i will be more 放心. she have do blood test 1 week before 4 all her appointment she have. looks like more and more lesson I'm going 2 missed(how 2 catch up?) when school reopens. and you know i have very serious stm. i really scare i will forget those dates of appointment and blood test. i already forget once. end up we already paid 4 the blood test but never go. there is this appointment must go in order 2 collect medicine. i forget too. oh no. getting so old. the doctor say my mum have 2 drink milk or eat food that contains calcium that she will be needing. and i really hopes i can remember 2 buy 4 her.

我看起来好像不在乎，但是其实不是你想像的那样。
and then is tuition at night. i haven pay my tuition fees yet. hoping that God will provide.

Thursday, went 2 work.

Friday, went 2 funan IT hall with Michelle 2 take the guitar course. the teacher keep having that mindset that we take up guitar course is 2 impress pple. feel a bit disturbed. he seems 2 like 2 mumble 2 himself. cos he don speak very clearly. so was like some part don catch what he wants 2 say. Michelle think agrees with me too. i think the lesson is super short lorx. feels so much 2 have a longer session. but overall, i think is quite ok. cos is something new that i never tried before. although i think play violin is more fun. went 2 meet marilyn at tecman 2 pick present 4 grace after lesson. is her birthday. there is this pass on card that usual price is 50cents each. but then at this session of tecman it actually sell 15pcs 4 1 dollar only! wow, so we both brought 30pcs each. and then we left 4 cell group. cant believe that they actually wrap the present up with newspaper. cos is super funny. we ordered pizza. i already forget when is the last time i eat pizza. is really been quite sometime.

today, morning went swimming with lexandra. after that went 4 fish4 men. i was really so sleepy, i dozed off actually. although i really try my best 2 keep myself awake. i drank a lot of water. but no use. i think caijie saw me dozing off. feel really really guilty. the lesson is not boring. I'm just too tired. feel so guilty. went 2 work at 4pm. wa... is really super busy today. i think everyday also. due 2 lack of manpower. i made so many twister non stop and burgers. really super exhausted. feel like my back is going 2 break anytime. really every time got this feeling.

Labels: part of my life

in respond of Michelle wants me do de quiz.


1) at which age do you want to get marry?

sorry, but at this point of time i plan not 2 get marry.

2) who is more important to you? friends or boyfriend?

of course friends.

3) who is the person you trust most?

God.

4) do you think you have enough confident?

no. but i believe God will help me get out of my low self esteem.

5) are you over your ex?

of course. is like 2 yrs ago thing. and that is not love at all. why must i still hold on 2 it and let it hurt me.

6) do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

yes.

7) what are your goals for this year?

is to pass my English and E math o level and to grow more intimate in relation with God.

8) do you believe in eternity love?

yes. only referring 2 the love God give.

9) have you ever break someone hearts that he or she tried 2 commit suicide?

no.

10) what feeling do you love the most?

got quite a number of it. i love the feeling of eating. love the feeling of being happy. love the feeling of people feeing happy.love the feeling of people being so touch and moved by God. love the feeling of trying very hard and finally got what i tried hard on. love the feeling of God's presence.

11) if 1 day your best friend and boyfriend quarrel, who will side with and what will you do?

i will side the person that is right( sorry sometime i just like 2 go by the book). and i will try 2 talk things out.

12) list out your 5 best friends.

hui, eeyore, may, lexandra, hui xian.

13) do you cherish every single friendships of yours?

what do you think???

14) what is the best word 2 describe you?

special.( everyone is uniquely created by God. can you find some1 that is equally like you?)

15) what do you think is the most important in your life?

God.

16) do you love anime?

okok.

17) what have you done 2 please yourself?

i will eat a lot of junk food, i will tidy up my table until it is super nice i will write in my nicest handwriting.

18) if time were 2 be rewind, will you want it 2 be?

hahax. a lot. i want 2 go back 2 sec2 camp, sec 4 school days, last year youth camp, church camp that just finish few days back( i miss my hotel bed).

19) do you love your boyfriend?

who? I'm single and not available.

20) if you like someone you really like, what will you do?

ask God is that person really is my Mr right.

OK . done.

Labels: part of my life

today is the last day of orientation. should i be happy of it, or sad? mixed feeling again. there is this telematch that last about 2 hours. so i spend that 2 hours sitting on the floor of that indoor sports hall with my clique. actually i think is quite boring 1. is just a trophy that they will win. and that trophy also cannot bring home 的. so is there really a good reason 4 us 2 like fright so fierce 4 that trophy? is really not worth it. maybe it only worth the bonding. but not all participated k. is just like a few pple from each class are selected 2participate and represents our school applied health science. so it is so sianx.. and my leg is super numb. the last time i remember sitting so long on the ground was like 1 year ago le. so is really painful.


today weather is super super hot. morning was raining so heavily and now afternoon is like so different. and my head is spinning, really cant take the weather. and as usual, despite the hot weather, i still manage 2 fall asleep in the bus, during the 30 mins journey. lol.


when 4 cell group in the evening. always looking forward in fellowship with them. mi and grace wear the same colour shirt again(last week i wore purple and she, too wear purple). ivana never join us today, so brander was quite sad, i heard he actually almost cried when he heard this news. brander is just so deeply in love with ivana. hahax. brander is really cute in a way. he tries a lot of way 2 get all our attention when we will like updating each other about our week. he went missing during praise and worship time and leaded ice breaker by combining the last 2 weeks ice breaker together. and the 4 feet too. mi, Marilyn and brander have 2 do 4 feet. and brander came up with a super lame and funny the 4 feet. anyway. i think the whole ice breaker, we just spent whole of it laughing at rander and his funny action and responds.


we celebrated Joseph birthday too. HAPPY 23Th birthday!!! the cake was super alot of chocolates. hahax. and of coures, the cell was end with a prayer.

Labels: part of my life

i think this year is reali a very very busy year. i must reali manage my time properly. or i will find myself not enough time 2 do a lot of stuff.

and this is a list of things that i will be busy with this year:
1) my o level English and math revision
2) my tuition class 4 both subjects
3) my higher nitec course
4) my work(need 2 earn my tuition and school fees)
5) Hui's brother d&t projects
6) bring my mum in and out of hospital and ployclinic 4 appointments
8) reading books
9) spending time with friends
10) and of course, spending time with God

OK. i planned 2 get my time managed once i get my schedule from school. i reali hope 2 get everything done. and also hoping that there is still enough time 4 me 2 rest.

may God provides me with strength :D

Labels: part of my life

i was talking abdt anger that day. ok.. i have not finish. lol.

there is nothing wrong 2 be angry. but once anger had controlled you, then something is wrong. there is a lot of thing that will happen when anger controlled you. i will find myself scolding that person that make me angry or say something that i actually should not say, or some very hurtful words. therefore, I'm always trying not 2 get angry easily. reminding myself as and when needed.

or some may find themselves making rush decision or doing something that we ourselves clearly know is not right. worst... killing someone or even ourselves. so i think letting anger 2 control ourselves is like super dangerous.

relax:) there is always a way out of every situation.

Labels: part of my life

recently, i jus read this book. this potion actually talks abdt anger. it jus helped mi 2 noe more abdt angers.wad the book had said i tink it reali applies 2 my life. it say the reason 4 our anger is bcos we cant get wad we wants; leading 2 anger. after reflecting 4 awhile abdt the anger that i always had in my life, i tink it is reali true.

i always find myself filled with anger at work. cos pple jus don cooperate with me... hahax.. cant get them 2 cooperate ? eventually leading in stress, pressure, shouting, tots of quiting this jobs.. n so on.. or maybe got angry bcos my friends don get wad i say even if i repeated a donkey times. cant get them 2 understand? yups.. this reali applies 2 my life.

it oso explained wad is the purpose of God for him 2 create anger. it is 2 motivate us when we see things that is wrong, we would do wad was in our power 2 make them right. it is put in our genes 2 help change things that we noe God wants 2 change.

another reason i tink is; so that we will fear God and be obedience 2 him. this jus reminded me some of the scriptures in acts and the old testament abdt God showing his anger on his pple when they did not obey him. bang.. they drop dead.. although it reali scares me sometime. but i believe surely God have his reason 4 doing that.

i want 2 thank God that i have learnt something new abdt him today. this new concept of anger. :D

Labels: part of my life