today is national day. is it? i have missed national day parade for like 3 yrs since i started working. so this year was no much different. working to the max. 15 hours. so today was more of a normal day, maybe more than a normal usual routine cos it is a public holiday. which means more than normal as there will be extra pay. hahax.


air-con at the store brokedown at 9.50pm. it's only got fixed by 10pm. so, it is really extremely hot for that short 10mins. cos the kitchen was full of smoke coming out from the cooking oil. thank God. the manager able to get it fixed in 10mins. or not, i think i will turn out to be a steamed chicken.


yesterday
yesterday was national day celebration in school. i actually looking forward to something new comparing to what secondary school always do for celebration. disappointed. nothing new. is like secondary school. seeing performance. not really seeing actually was doing LLA project all the way. writing and pasting. super busy. the more upsetting part is that there are not enough space to sit. so is like we sat on the stairs. super dirty and disturbing when pple just keep coming thru us. then we must move to one side for them to pass. in fact, super disappointed with the overall celebration.


Michelle and i went to see our Crystal babies. the same, crystal not clear, not nice. when then will be a break though happen to our crystal? we are left with very less time. and i really don wan to go back to square 1. if this really do happen, i really feel like giving up. we only took 1 hour to change all breakers and check the condition. thank God. cos I'm not free to stay till very late.


we went to c1 and eat. 好 久 没 吃 日 本 餐 了 。 i should be feeling very happy and looking forward to my food. yes, i did. we sat down and eat. and it was really total silence at the table.


me: "会 不 会 觉 得 很 静 ?"
Michelle: "会。 "
some how that joy of eating had fade away. instead... 突 然 有 一 种 不 知 从 哪 来 的 压 力 感 。 非 常 非 常 的 沉 重 。


me: "你 会 不 会 感 觉 到 一 种 压 力 感 ?"
Michelle: "会 。"
me: "你 是 不 是 把 它 给 传 给 了 我 ? 还 是 是 我 传 给 你 的 ? 我 也 有 这 种 感 觉 。 你 是 为 什 么 而 压 力 ? "
Michelle: "我 不 知 道 。 "
me: "是 不 是 oral and o level ?"
Michelle: " ya."
me: " me too. 还 以 为 做 完 LLA 后 会 比 较 经 松 点 。 怎 么 一 点 分 辨 也 没 有 ? 反 而 压 力 好 像 变 得 更 大 呢 ? "
Michelle: "....."


exam are so so so near..... scream!!!!




i spend the whole night before to do LLA. only slept 2 hours. so i fell asleep straight after i found a seat to sit in the bus. thank God. manage to wake up just in time to get down from the bus and never missed the stop. and all the way back home, my eyes was half open. guess what's the first thing i did when i reach home. straight to the bedroom. i keep telling my mum that after i bath then we will set off to the hospital. but i actually fell asleep. after my mum and sister effort to get me out of the bed, then i woke up, crawl out and bath. thank God, is still early.


reach hospi abdt 4plus. all the way in the bus i was sleeping. and all the way till i reach home my eyes are also half open. the waiting time to do the blood test was shorter then i expected. oh man! and it cost like 65 bucks. sigh.....


cg at 7.30pm. still thought I'm leading ice beaker. but seems Marilyn had prepared then she took over. oh man! Marilyn's looks terrible cos she just went to pull out her wisdom tooth and her cheek was super bloated and got blue black too. see her, i super heart pain.


Marilyn: " since Jesus had died for us, why cant he stop human being form dying instead? so that they can live in this world forever. "
ivana: " why do u want to live in this chaotic world when you can actually go haven and live with Jesus? wages of sin is death. and all have sinned.


i really don want to live in this world forever. thank God cos he had prepared a place for me. i suddenly realise that i have been asking God and telling God what to do and what i want certain things to be. instead of asking God to teach me and show me his way to solve problems that I'm facing. isn't He incomparable? nothing is impossible. cos it is Himpossible.


i cant believe that this week i have been sleep walking, teeth grinding and nite leg muscle cramp. hopefully this will get better next week as i sleep earlier and get a good sleep.






this world is not my home, I'm just passing through. "this is my home surely?" Singapore is my home? home? what is home? I'm an alien in this world and i cant feel at home in this world anymore.

Labels: i really want to see YOu in heaven.